bittersweet

I went to my aunt's house to go through my grandpa's clothing.  While folding we would laugh talking about him and she would smell his clothes.  He was big and wore a lot of cream colored sweaters, dark cardigans, beanies and black berets.  I told her I know a place that could use them.  We laid the clothes out on her bed and began folding his clothing to put into separate bags.  I watched her fold, and tried to make my bag presentable.  When I noticed she wasn't paying attention, I would fold the shirt in my hand quickly and stuff it in the bag.  When I think about it, I seem to prefer the clothing my parents bought him over the years to ones I've received.  I usually just wear T-shirts.  In this asshole climate, I rarely get to wear many layers, but he's old, you know?  The top of his head was bald.  My aunt and I looked through a couple articles of clothing so I could keep to remember him.  I tried on a few items; everything was comfortable.  I kept a couple light jackets hoping I can wear them in the evenings.  I didn't want to keep anything that would just sit waiting for next winter.  There's a place I know that lays out a thrift shop for homeless people.  After their dinner, they can sort through the items on the tables and pick out what they'd like.  Today in AA, someone shared a reading, the gist of which was to daily do something good for someone else without revealing your deeds.  I think my grandpa's clothes are going to help a lot of people.  He had a great wardrobe.  I also picked out a short-sleeved white shirt, the kind you can wear in the summer and not have to tuck in.  Over the white there's a soft blue and light blue design all around.  I feel free in it, and asked her to fold it for me.  Today I left the house wearing that shirt and immediately received complements about how handsome I looked.  It made me want to be outside all day, and made me joke around in my head about wearing it every day.  I rode my bicycle around the city late in the afternoon and into the evening.  The sun was pretty hard, but still in a car I'd have to roll the windows up to take in the air conditioning.  I felt handsome when I passed by women and I wasn't afraid.  We have made five posts here this month, in spite of the drought.  I have been using a computer to type and I take the laptop with me into the bathroom to write.