- Hello Richard.
- How are you, Alan?
- All right, I guess...I really needed to make a meeting today though.
- I know what that's like.
- ...Yea, I was out some place where I know I shouldn't have been.
- A smorgasbord, huh?
- All over the place, man...always in my face.
- Probably, it's just too soon. And, you know, what can I tell you, some places you just shouldn't be, man.
- Yea, I think I didn't realize it until it all became too much.
- But...you're not fudged up, are you?
- Oh, no! Thank...whatever...I mean, thank God...whatever.
- Hey, it's okay. You know, whatever works.
- Just a whirpool of emotions, or whatever that's called. A tidal wave of sensations.
- (laughs) Hey, it's all the same. My sponsor used to say, "Whatever it is, is." Think of it this way: whatever this is, if it keeps you from taking that bite today or the first sip of the shake in the morning—if it means you're not loitering around the milk aisle—
- Fantasizing.
- Exactly. Then it's working.
- (Man's Voice, background) You'd sell your daughter for some marzipan, faggedaboudid...
- (Richard) Come on, let's sit down. This is a good meeting. (whispers) It's okay we're a little late.
- (Ms. Margo) ...and essentially, it destroyed my third marriage. You'd think I'd learn after the first two, but...well I also told myself I'd never get into dark chocolate...
- (Alan, whispering) I saw this wrapper on the floor today...
- (Richard, whispers) Tell me later.
- (Ms. Margo) ...that's all I have.
- (Meeting Leader). Thank you, Margo. Yes, Dru?
- (Richard, whispering to Alan) You can share anytime.
- (Dru) ...cause some people don't come back, man. Some people die out there fighting with...with pigeons and demons, man. They say you'd step over your own mother—No, you'd step over her, then come back, check her bottom to see if she sat on any. That's the nature of this disease, man...
- (Meeting Leader) Thanks, Dru. Eugene?
- (Eugene) What was the topic, White Chocolate? (laughter)
- (Meeting Leader) It's open.
- (Eugene) Well, the topic is still always White Chocolate, with me, anyhow. White chocolate—white chocolate kicked my butt for a long time. People would say, you know, hazelnuts, hazelnut creme, it's—it's all in that dang chocolate. I used to make 64 thousand dollars, you know. By the end of the next year, all I had to my name was a torn blue blanket from my babe and two boxes of assorted Whitman's. When I asked my company to start paying me in gift baskets, they said I could no longer continue working unless I agreed to seek help—
- (Evelyn, muttering) I can't believe this.
- (Eugene) ...Well, that's enough out of me. Thanks
- (Meeting Leader) Thank you. Who would like to share next? Before I start calling on people. No one right now, huh? Or we can meditate...Evelyn, you sounded like you wanted to say something?
- (Evelyn) Oh, I just came to get my card signed.
- (Meeting Leader) You can talk about it...or whatever you'd like—
- (Evelyn) Yea okay, you know who has a problem with chocolate? My little brother. No, why are you nodding? I don't have a problem with chocolate—it's delicious. Why are you nodding? What the hell is wrong with you people? Look, it's just a Tootsie Roll. If I don't eat it, it's going to eat me. You guys are a bunch of freaks.
- (Eugene) Per the group conscience, we ask that you not share if you're all...all fudged up.
- (Meeting Leader) No cross-talk, Eugene.
- (Eugene) Sorry.
- (Meeting Leader) ...me too.
- (Evelyn, mutters) Bunch of freaks. That's it.
- (Terry) Powerless over Chocolate, Terry Denim.
- (group) Terry.
- (Terry) Thought I'd share. Yea, you know, once I got that first chocolate in me, you know, a benign mini Kat-Kat, it's only 20 calories, you figure, and half the size of a single finger—that's what I used to call them. And—you've been working hard all day, you know... "Four fingers, I need," I used to say to my guy over the phone, so people didn't know what I was up to. But once you get that first chocolate in you, man, you know, you deserve one, you've had a—I wouldn't know when I was going to stop. After the first Kit Kat, you gotta get the milk, of course...and my daughter, she had just become a vegan or a hipster, I don't know, but I'd be scrambling between the soy and almondmilk and my own lowfat milk... You're so busy, you know, that you forget what it even tasted like, what it really means to savor it, and you find any reason to—cause now you got the cup of milk, you know... I don't know, once I got that first bite in me, be it with some bullshit wafer, I didn't know when I was going to stop. It could go for a week, it could go for 2 years, you know. Anyway, I'm going to try it another day and I hope all you do, too.
- (Richard) Richard, Chocoholic.
- (Group) Richard.
- (Eugene, grumbling) ...gonna share forever.
- (Richard) I'd like to thank Dorothy for leading today's meeting. People said some good things today; people were honest, and brave. You know, I share a lot about what my sponsor used to say. That man wouldn't cut no strings; he wouldn't baby me. I always thought he was the biggest asshole when I first came around. Started working with him and realized that I thought too much. There lies the underlying king. He would tell me, you know, you don't like it? You don't like reality, go munch. They got air bubbles in 'em now. See where it gets you. You know, you're not done, you're not done—but don't waste my time. I used to hate hearing that shit. Really bruised my ego, that this cat would talk to me like that; but I needed to hear that...you know, I love that man today. He wouldn't baby me—my ego is what makes me that..that infantile, the underlying king.(leaning back) I had a similar experience with my cocoa demon, as I Iiked to call her. My preference was the darker stuff. It got to the point where I was forging documents and...shit writing fake articles about recent studies finding chocolate to be, I don't know, beneficial for canine vision, some bullshit like that. We had a blind dog. I'd insert the leaflets or packets into Veterinary Research Magazine, and leave them on the coffee table for my wife to read. I'd do that routinely, hoping to find some more chocolate in the cupboards. I didn't have time to feel what a coward I was, or even just grasp what I was doing—I was too busy trying to savor it. Fortunately, she knew it was me the whole time. I wasn't fooling anyone with my misspellings and slang words; some of the sentences had no endings. If you're new, or unsure, keep coming back, and listen. You don't have to do anything but be willing.
- (Dorothy) Thanks Richard. And we have time for a burning desire. Anyone feel like they're going to stop by the 7-11—
- (Terry) Any smoldering resentments?
- (Eugene) Gonna get up in the middle of the night?
- (Dorothy) Anything you need to let out? You can still catch one of us outside.
- (Terry) Smokers and jokers.
- (Dorothy) How 'bout a quick one? Would anyone like to share? Go ahead.
- (Alan) Yea, they're not messing around when they say, "Party Bag." Even when everyone around you leaves, you're on the kitchen floor in your underwear, with the bag between your legs. One big, never-ending party...until it ends. One night I went out to buy more milk. I had the route memorized. But for some odd reason, at the last intersection, instead of making a right, I made a left—it didn't feel good—but, you know, I'm here today. And eventually you just learn that's all you can ask for. There's so many cliches here, but there's a subtle underlying...I don't know...it was the only good decision I had made up till that point...probably because I was making the decisions.That's all. Thanks.
