The BPP

- Dave, pass me the file on the new babe.

- Sure thing—just as soon as you give me that eclair.

- What eclair?

- Here.  Now pass me that there eclair.

- (head down, reading over the file) There's no eclair for you; told you already.

- There's two in the box.  I sees it—Earl, can you see it?

- (Earl) There's definitely two in there.

- (Lou) Spoken for.  Wouldn't want you two fighting over it.

- (Dave) That's probably a thousand calories each; come on, Lou, you don't need that much on your plate.  Earl concedes, don't you, Earl?

- (Earl) Had the last of the last batch.  Eh, no shame in letting go...

- (Lou) Wife made 'em for me.  It's not a donut box.

- (Dave) You see that, Earl?

- (Earl) Those are big eclairs, sure.

- (Lou) They're not for you.

- (Dave) Your wife would give me a donut.

- (Lou, still studying file) My wife would give you a donut, and you'd bake her a dozen in my house, in your underwear.  There's no eclair for you. 

- (Earl) He's seems pretty set, Dave... Maybe he needs the calories.

- (Dave) He's a calorie-hog.

- (Lou, studying file) Says here we have to read the perp's blog?

- (Dave) His what?

- (Lou) I'm not reading anyone's blog.  That's on you, Earl.

- (Earl) A blog, like for cake recipes? 

- (Dave) I'll read it; what evidence are we looking for?

- (Lou) No evidence.  Gotta read the jackass's poems.

- (Dave) Poems? For what, clues?

- (Earl) Inspiration maybe?

- (Lou) Oh, everyday, too—you gotta read the jackass's blog everyday, Dave.

- (Dave) What are we lookin'—What are we doing here, Lou?

- (Lou) You check his blog every day; we manipulate the system where he thinks the pageview is coming from her.  He's ecstatic for the day—that's one less day she has to worry about him.

- (Earl) How does he know it's her?

- (Lou) He sees the stat's from the country he thinks she's in.

- (Dave) That's all? 

- (Earl) Is it a small country?

- (Dave) Guy must not have too many visitors.

- (Lou) Meanwhile, we're getting her going.

- (Dave) Where has she decided on?

- (Lou) Oh, and Dave—here jot this down: Babe Dream Alert.  

- (Earl) What's that?

- (Lou) That's when he drops what he's doing and notifies headquarters.

- (Dave) A Babeness Protection emergency, huh? I'll put exclamations on it.

- (Earl) Here, use my red marker.

- (Lou) Earl, and what you can get started on...let's see...here, this eclair's for you: how are you with Facebook?