the one with Tammy

- (Customer) ...Oh, it's okay.  Let the lady go first. 

- (Tammy) Thank You.

- (Customer, looking down) Oh, my pleasure.

- (Clerk) And they say chivalry is dead. 

- (Tammy to Clerk) Don't you just love these beautiful sunny days?

- (Customer, behind Tammy) Lady, it's 106 degrees outside.

- (Tammy) Well, that's Southern California.

- (Customer) No, that's Hell.

- (Tammy) Well if you can't take the heat, maybe you should find somewhere more suitable to live.

- (Customer) You calling me an immigrant?

- (Tammy) Um, no; I'm just saying you should know what's in store for you. (exiting store.)

- (Customer) What was that, some sort of play on words?  

- (Clerk, laughs) I don't know.

- (Customer) Yea, she's probably nostalgic about lynchings, too.  When they gave her the seeds of progress, she ate the seeds and took a shit. 

- (Clerk laughs nervously)

- (Customer) When they gave her the Keys to the Kingdom, she...(coughing)...she posted a sign that read, "Not Hiring Wetbacks."

- (Clerk, still laughing) Bless you, by the way.

- (Customer) Thanks.  Wait, what?

- (Clerk) God Bless you, I said.  For your sneeze.

- (Customer) Oh.  It's just—well, it's just that I didn't sneeze.

- (Clerk, laughing) Oh, my mistake; probably happens—

- (Customer)  It was a cough.  I didn't sneeze; it was a cough.

- (Clerk) My mistake.

- (Customer) You bet it was a mistake.

- (Clerk, laughs nervously) So...what, you want me to take it back?

- (Customer) Yes.

- (Clerk) "God Bless You?" You want me to take that back?

- Yes, I insist you take it back.

- What!?

- It was a sneeze; I didn't cough.  Take it back.

- I thought it was a cough?

- It was a cough—take it back!  

- Why, are you afraid you might get rid of some extra demon?

- You accidentally got a thank you out of me, asshole.

- Well, what's it matter if you didn't sneeze?

- I don't want to open myself up to new influences because of your indiscretion. 

- Indiscretion? I said God Bless You.

- And now you know it wasn't a sneeze.  

- I won't take it back on principle.

- Yea, just as I suspected—you'll have me at the helm for Satan's agents.   It's your ego that'll tear me down.

- It's your own ego that puts you in such precarious circumstances.

- Take it back, I don't want no evil spirits in me.

- Any new ones, you mean.

- Take it back, you green Punjabi beast.

- I'm from Egypt.  You need to get out.

- Not like this I won't!

- It's safe out there, don't worry.

- Yea that's what you said before you blew up the—

- Get out!  It's society that has to watch out for you.

- This place has so many flies; I should've figured.

- Get out.

- Then I'm not paying for this.

- Keep your ding dong; just get out!

- You're the ding dong!  (throws it in clerk's face).  Get me another one!

- Oh, I'll get you another one. (both running past Tammy outside)

- (Tammy) The ego, the ego, the ego...will not repent.