- I gotta fill out some forms online for work.
- Oh...with what?
- Um, with a computer? Duh.
- No, you know—I meant, you still use a desktop? People do everything on their phones these days.
- I can't do that with just my phone.
- Yea, I get it. So you still have that old phone of yours?
- What old phone?
- You know, the one I saw you with last time. Some Apple, or Android, was it?
- I have an iPhone 6 now.
- Oh laady-da. It's a carhole.
- LOL.
- Did you just say, "LOL?"
- (laughs) Yea.
- Your phone's only new till the next one comes out. What's the operating system on that thing, by the way? You and your fancy phones...
- It's not fancy anymore; it's just the norm nowa—
- The operating system!
- Jeez, I don't know! I think it's Safari. I gotta get going.
- You going on that computer?
- What computer?
- Jesus Christ.
- What?
- You said you had something to do, that you couldn't use your phone, and you had to use a...?
- Oh, another computer.
- If there are any flies on you, they're paying rent.
- What? What does that mean?
- Nothing, it was on TV. Go on, you were saying?
- Yea, I'll get to my work stuff later; I don't feel like it right now. I'm going to meet up with some of my girlfriends.
- What are you going to do, eat?
- Yea, we'll probably do that, too. Most people eat together, you know?
- Don't get it.
- Yea, I know you don't. Anyways...
- It's, "Anyway." Hey, so is that computer you use like a Mac, or PC...or a Linux? Is it a Linux?
- It's a PC.
- So, what, you using Internet Explorer?
- Yea, I still have a PC.
- You always use Internet Explorer? It's not Firefox or Opera or Dragon something?
- No—
- It's not Linux? What the fuck is a Linux?
- Wait a minute, I know what you're doing.
- What?
- You're fishing!
- What? I ain't doing nothing.
- Yea, you are!
- Nothing. Ain't doing nothin—
- You're—
- I don't fish.
- You're fishing for your blog!
- Blog? What blog?
- You're trying to find out if I follow your blog.
- I don't have a blog.
- Yea, you do.
- You calling me a—a blogger? Well how would you know unless you...
- You sent me your drunk links enough times for me to—
- I don't have a blog! What are you trying to—I don't blog. Who blogs?
- You do.
- No I don't; I eat with people.
- You're trying to track down your readers! That's so—
- What?
- ...That's so funny! You're trying to stalk your readers!
- I don't need to track anybody.
- That's so funny!
- You're funny!
- It's kinda scary too, because someone comes in and you're—it's like you're trying to trap them in your mind. That so...weird!
- There's nothing going—You're weird.
- You're obsessed with your blog. Admit it: you're crazy about your pageviews.
- I don't need to track anybody.
- Yea you do. You're obsessed with your blog. I can't believe you're so—
- It's not a blog; it's a silk flower.
- A what?
- Pageviews? It's a meteor shower. I got so many...it's an unending symphony!
- It's what? Oh my god!
- I got a P.O. Box. I don't have time to look at all my—
- I know about how many readers you have.
- Millions; it's the greatest thing on the internet.
- I can probably guess.
- You can guess nothing—that'll take forever.
- Every time I haven't clicked one of your drunk links...
- Go with others, and eat.
- ...There's been no talking to you for days.
- That's cause I'm so busy hauling out my P.O. Box.
- Oh, that poor lonely thing.
- You're poor—I mean, you're lonely!
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