I gotta fill out some forms online for work

- I gotta fill out some forms online for work.
- Oh...with what?
- Um, with a computer?  Duh.
- No, you know—I meant, you still use a desktop?  People do everything on their phones these days.
- I can't do that with just my phone.
- Yea, I get it.  So you still have that old phone of yours?
- What old phone?
- You know, the one I saw you with last time.  Some Apple, or Android, was it?
- I have an iPhone 6 now.
- Oh laady-da.  It's a carhole.
- LOL.
- Did you just say, "LOL?"  
- (laughs) Yea.
- Your phone's only new till the next one comes out.  What's the operating system on that thing, by the way?  You and your fancy phones...
- It's not fancy anymore; it's just the norm nowa—
- The operating system!
- Jeez, I don't know!  I think it's Safari.  I gotta get going. 
- You going on that computer?  
- What computer?
- Jesus Christ.
- What?
- You said you had something to do, that you couldn't use your phone, and you had to use a...?
- Oh, another computer.
- If there are any flies on you, they're paying rent.
- What?  What does that mean?
- Nothing, it was on TV.  Go on, you were saying?
- Yea, I'll get to my work stuff later; I don't feel like it right now.  I'm going to meet up with some of my girlfriends.
- What are you going to do, eat?
- Yea, we'll probably do that, too.  Most people eat together, you know?
- Don't get it.  
- Yea, I know you don't.  Anyways...
- It's, "Anyway."  Hey, so is that computer you use like a Mac, or PC...or a Linux?  Is it a Linux?
- It's a PC.  
- So, what, you using Internet Explorer?
- Yea, I still have a PC.
- You always use Internet Explorer?  It's not Firefox or Opera or Dragon something?  
- No—
- It's not Linux?  What the fuck is a Linux?
- Wait a minute, I know what you're doing.
- What?
- You're fishing!
- What? I ain't doing nothing.  
- Yea, you are!
- Nothing.  Ain't doing nothin—
- You're—
- I don't fish.
- You're fishing for your blog!
- Blog?  What blog?  
- You're trying to find out if I follow your blog.  
- I don't have a blog.
- Yea, you do.  
- You calling me a—a blogger?  Well how would you know unless you...
- You sent me your drunk links enough times for me to—
- I don't have a blog!  What are you trying to—I don't blog. Who blogs?
- You do.
- No I don't; I eat with people.
- You're trying to track down your readers!  That's so—
- What?
- ...That's so funny!  You're trying to stalk your readers!
- I don't need to track anybody.
- That's so funny!
- You're funny!  
- It's kinda scary too, because someone comes in and you're—it's like you're trying to trap them in your mind.  That so...weird!
- There's nothing going—You're weird.
- You're obsessed with your blog.  Admit it: you're crazy about your pageviews.
- I don't need to track anybody.
- Yea you do.  You're obsessed with your blog.  I can't believe you're so—
- It's not a blog; it's a silk flower.
- A what?
- Pageviews?  It's a meteor shower.  I got so many...it's an unending symphony!
- It's what?  Oh my god!
- I got a P.O. Box.  I don't have time to look at all my—
- I know about how many readers you have.
- Millions; it's the greatest thing on the internet.
- I can probably guess.
- You can guess nothing—that'll take forever.
- Every time I haven't clicked one of your drunk links...
- Go with others, and eat.
- ...There's been no talking to you for days.
- That's cause I'm so busy hauling out my P.O. Box.
- Oh, that poor lonely thing.
- You're poor—I mean, you're lonely!


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