Walking Away from the Cilantro Bar

- (smiles) I like your shirt.

- What?

- Nice shirt.

- Oh, thanks.  It's a flag.

- Oh.

- Yea, it's not from a movie, if that's what you're thinking.

- What?

- It's not from a movie.

- I see.

- Yea.

- So...you like Kazakhstan?

- (intercom, background) 281.

- It's just a flag.

- Yea, you just visited?

- (man's voice, background) 281! That's Number 281!

- Doesn't matter; it's just a flag.  It's just a regular t-shirt.  I'm just wearing a t-shirt.  You like my t-shirt...of a flag.

- Yea, I get it.

- Okay, so, take care.

- Take care, yea... You think I don't know what you're doing?

- What am I doing?  I'm trying to get some onions and cilantro.

- I know what—

- And some hot sauce, if you'll move out of the way.  Are you finished with that?

- You've returned from your travels?

- I may have.  Are you done?  I'd really like some hot sauce.

- You think I don't know what you're doing?  

- I'm trying to have a meal.

- Huh?  You fat hipster, you're trying to make a statement on me.

- (intercom, background) 282.

- I'm just trying to eat.

- I bet you're trying to eat—you're trying to get one over on me.  

- (man's voice, background) That's 282!  You want your 282!

- (continuing) What are you, gonna post it on your blog, your epic win? 

- You like my t-shirt—that's great.  Thank you; and Kazahstan's a great country.

- Yea, and what are their exports? Come on, we both know one those burritos is for your girlfriend.

- My girlfriend's over there.  She's right over there if you'll—

- It's probably your sister...

- My sister's not that hot.

- Is that your thing?  Using people to make a statement in public places?  Quiet social commentary?

- I have a lot of things—we do, in fact; most of them come from IKEA.

- And this does it for her?  Catching prey in the afternoons?  She capturing your triumph for Youtube?  

- We're just trying to have our lunch. 

- Yea, you meet in post-production?

- Thank you for your compliment towards the flag depicted on my shirt.

- I didn't compliment the flag depicted on your shirt—I complimented your shirt, asshole.

- So you like the colors depicted on my shirt?

- I like its texture.  What is that, the athletic fit?

- (intercom, background)  Order 282.

- Yea, it highlights the contours of my blubber, nicely.  Anything else?

- (man's voice, background) Come on, 282—that's 282 everybody!

- (walking away from the cilantro bar) Ah, fuck it.  Dickless Yelpsters.  I should have known.