sea shells

- I'll just take the next exit.

- Okay.

- We'll hop back on.  I don't want to take the streets...

- Check it out...

- Bentley?

- No...it's either a Phantom or a Ghost.  That thing costs as much as a house.

- In some states...

- I'm going to ask you a weird question.

- What is it?

- You ready?

- Yea, what is it?

- Okay...

- (laughs) What is it?

- Okay, how do you wipe your ass?

- You mean do I use toilet paper or the sea shells?

- (laughs) No, seriously.

- What do you mean?

- How do you wipe your ass?

- I don't use my hand.

- Come on.  

- Why?  Do you go in the bathtub like Andre?

- Just tell me.

- Why?  How do you wipe yours?

- Come on, I asked you first.

- Why do you want to know?

- I asked for a reason.  Come on.

- Like a normal person.  Why are you asking?

- What's the normal way?

- Do you not know?

- I always thought I did, but now I'm not so sure.

- What do you mean?

- I'm not really sure—Okay, what's your technique?

- What—

- Like with toilet paper.

- Oh, yea.

- You fold it before you go in?

- I usually crumple it up to utilize the ridges. 

- Okay.

- Better grip, wider area—forget about it.

- Yea.

- Why?  What do you do?

- No, that makes sense.

- What do you do?

- No, I do that too I think.

- Yea...it's more efficient that way.

- I cup my balls and junk with one hand and go in through the front...

- Okay...

- I don't stand up...

- Oh...

- Yea...

- Like a woman?

- I got tired of wasting so much effort all those years.  It's so time consuming.

- I see...

- There's the exit.

- Yea, I see it.

- Some comprehensive trial and error, I feel...

- You on probation?

- Yea, why?

- I wouldn't break any laws if I were you.